Sometimes it's Amnesia

There is a condition I have come to discover called "Mother's Amnesia," or "Mommy Brain." I truly belive thatheir hour this condition the human race would not survive. And, bonus, it is God's blessing to mothers around the world! All of a sudden there is now an excuse for why you forgot your coffee was on top of the car as you pulled out of your parking space. Suddenly a free pass has fallen into your lap. If you have forgotten something, misplaced an item, or have let the ball drop on a few daily chores- there is a perfectly good and acceptable excuse: temporary amnesia.

Husbands will undoubtedly tease you on your new found mental condition, and you can act as offended as you like by the accusations, but that doesn't mean you aren't grateful for the excuse... And sometimes maybe even exploit it a bit on purpose?

Mommy Brain can show in a variety of ways. Some are ways we wish it didn't affect us- the simple act of forgetting to perform an everyday task like laundry until you are opening your drawer to get dressed ... only to realize that all of your clothes for the season are lying in a heap in the back corner of your closet. Others are ways we are more grateful for: like the fact that the pain of pregnancy and birth become vague memories- the pain not something we truly remember until we are back in the delivery room. Recently I have discovered another such wonderful instance of motherhood amnesia.

It is called the chosen smile. That moment when your little pink wonderful looks at you, eyes wide, and your body begins to brace itself, ears try to close a bit, because the fear of another crying period commencing is just too great... And then it happens, the lips curl up, and instead of a scream it almost looks like a giggle. And your heart just melts. Maddie has recently begun to experiment with this form of communication, and it has done something to my heart.

All of a sudden, she looks at me and smiles, moving her mouth around like she is trying to laugh at the now shocked look on my face. And my heart melts. In an instant I go from my teeth on edge to laughing tears. Suddenly I have no recollection of the past couple months, my memory goes blank, and I just smile in relaxation. My muscles unclench, my face smooths out, and my heart is happy. A taste of joy, that's what it is, when you realize that your child is choosing to smile at you. And, as I feel my body changing and drinking in this refreshing time, I realize that I have no idea why I was so tense to begin with...

(sigh)

Mommy Amnesia. What a gift.