Sometimes it's just that Time of Year

It's that time of year again... When the leaves are supposed to turn colors, the snow is supposed to start falling, and the fireplaces are supposed to be being lit once more. I say "supposed to" because if you live in Austin, Texas (or someplace similar) the majority of leaves are still green... or dead... And the snow is a foam people use to decorate with. Now fires just may be lit in the fireplaces, but instead of being cozyed up to they are politely admired from across the room.

This will be Nathan's and my third holiday season together, our second with Tucker, and of course our first with Maddie... And hopefully it will be the first we actually decorate for and start our own family traditions... Fingers crossed!

I love traditions, probably my most favorite part of the holiday season growing up was that it was dependable and predictable. It came once a year. Thanksgiving was spent at my Uncle's ranch outside of Bracketville- everyone (with the exception of me and whoever was too young at the time) would go bow hunting. We would also roast marshmallows, eat tons of enchiladas, watch the Thanksgiving day parade, and of course the dreaded anticipated football game of the season (A&M vs. UT), while enjoying the most amazing food ever. Seriously, I am not sure a better Thanksgiving tradition exists... Hence it's hold on my heart as my favorite holiday.

The drive from the ranch back to Colorado would consist of Christmas music... Nonstop Christmas music (which was probably the least looked forward to tradition of the holidays by both my brothers and me), however I have found I have become the initiator of that tradition in our house now... Dancing around every evening the past few days singing songs from Michael Buble's new Christmas album with Tucker -who now recognizes different songs and will even shout "oh boy!" for his favorites- during which times of joy I feel a small pang of guilt for not being equally enthusiastic when my own mom would turn on the festive ensembles when we were growing up...

...And then the Christmas season would get underway. In Colorado that meant chopping down our own tree (always one that resembled a "Charlie Brown Christmas tree"), drinking hot chocolate with extra marshmallows in Santa mugs, and watching Christmas movies while my mom strung cranberries and popcorn to decorate it's weathered boughs.

Christmas Eve we would receive our Christmas pj's and again drink hot chocolate after attending the Christmas Eve service in town at the local Presbyterian church. And on Christmas morning we would come downstairs to find our "Santa" gifts and stockings. We would eat another amazingly delicious meal, and then unwrap presents... Leisurely cherishing the snow covered day.

Now it's time for me to figure out which traditions will be the ones my children grow up with. That's a lot of pressure. It seems impossible not to keep every tradition exactly as it's always been... Except for the fact that we don't really get white Christmases here...

Sometimes it's Crazed Peace

You know that emotion that hits you at 2 am? The one that makes you want to pull your hair out? Or possibly make you run out the door screaming (with your fingers in your ears) while you jump into the car and drive to the farthest nearest hotel? If you have recently given birth to a cute bundle of colicky joy then you understand to what I am referring... If not I would like to assure you that these emotions are, I have come to find, completely normal and understandable- to other mothers that is...

Well, back to the fleeing your house in a state of panic because if you don't then you fear for the adorably frustrating child shrieking next to you - this is the state of mind I have found myself on the majority of nights the past few weeks. And here are a few examples as to why that is:
- Middle of the night nursing goes well enough, until the bed is reintroduced
- One minute the wubbanub is helping baby drift off, the next she is spitting it out and whimpering
- The Gripe water successfully passes her out after being administered half the time, but the administering process is full of ear piercing screams
- The Gripe water successfully exacerbates her after being administered the other half of the times
- Mylicon never works only worsens
- Rocking either outs her to sleep or wakes her up even more
- Reflux
- Gas
- Digestion
- Stomach issues
- Burps
- all of which wakes up my toddler who now seems to be suffering from a sort of night terror...

And the results to the afore mentioned statuses = little to no sleep and a highly predictable crying schedule (and no, "crying" does not just refer to the infant's tears). Hence, when moments like these happen in which I find myself awake in the middle of the night, with a baby who can't quite seem to comfort herself, I sometimes have the emotions fill me I described at the beginning of this post...

Tonight, however, I find myself feeling a different emotion I can only accredit to both having had a successful two hour nap earlier this afternoon and having LOTS of prayers lifted up on my behalf (the latter being what I am most grateful for and would ask that those do not cease!) The emotion feels almost fake considering that it is not the norm for this hour of night, at least not for this household, but is delightful all the same. It feels like a lack of emotion honestly- most likely due to the fact that there is no strong urge rising up within me to flee the room in which my child is anxiously fighting sleep.. But you are probably wondering what this fake-like feeling of an emotion is, so I will tell you: it is a calming PEACE that has filled me completely.


Peace is a state of harmony characterized by the lack of violent conflict. Commonly understood as the absence of hostility, PEACE also suggests the existence of healthy or newly healed interpersonal or international relationships, prosperity in matters of social or economic welfare, the establishment of equality, and a working political order that serves the true interests of all.

Recently my dear friend Jessica blessed me tremendously by taking Maddie Emma's newborn photos and our family photos. I have since described her as "The Ultimate Baby Whisperer," and I will tell show you why:

You may find yourself looking at this picture and wondering where the baby I have been describing is. I promise they are one in the same... I think... The perfect embodiment of my current emotion, beautifully captured in my daughter's face.

A note on the new look

Everyone my apologies for the new blog- if the background on the blog is a bright blue, it is not supposed to be. I know that Internet explorer is displaying it this way, but am not sure about other browsers. I believe safari and google chrom show it accurately (more of a gray colored linen). Will try to fix this as soon as possible, but it may take a while... Because I need my husband to do it! I was able to do everything else, very impressed with myself, but I am not nearly as experienced with "codes" as my husband is so I think I will leave this task to him...
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